Out of hospital! That…was….quite possibly…the most surreal experience ever. Except for having 3 kids without drugs of course!
The hospital was FANTASTIC. Many many thanks to BMI The Ridgeway staff, especially Kathryn, my nurse, it was a wonderful hospital, state of the art and full of really kind medical bods. I have never had any kind of surgery before, and the thought of it terrifies me which is why I have put this off for so long, but I have got to the point where the thought of not doing anything about it was actually becoming more scary than the thought of actually going ahead with it, and with the exchange rate being the way it is right now, with my 40th on the horizon, and with my new kamikaze approach to life I thought lets just do it. It couldn’t wind up any worse than it is now!
A few top tips first of all for anyone planning a hospital stay:
1) Don’t put your urine sample in the same style cup as your water cup, and DEFINITELY don’t then put them down in the same place on the counter…..
2) If you chicken out, make a run for it down the corridor and out the door. For health and safety reasons it seems the windows only open 10cms.
My op was scheduled for around 6pm, but thanks to someone (David??! What, were you redecorating in there??!) hogging theatre, I didn’t get down there until 7.45pm, by which time I was climbing the walls in terror, which is really really pathetic and I admit it, I am a total wuss. I mean, this is hardly open heart surgery. On the way down in the lift, the two lovely nurses talked about all the reasons why they would never have a nose-job! Bless them!
We went through some double doors marked “Operating Theatres” (v. scary. Now I see why the backs of hospital gowns are open – it saves on washing!) and once inside we were directed into theatre no. 1. We went into a little anaesthetic room, and they asked me to remove my dressing gown and slippers. Honestly, I felt like Anne Boleyn! I lay down on the gurney, and the first thing they did was stick heart minotors on my chest – badoombadoombadoombadoom – it was going 100 miles an hour I was so nervous!
The lovely anaesthetist (Dr Van Hamel, very nice) put a needle into my arm, and as previously explained to me, put the first drug in, whatever it was. I also have no idea what the second was, but it made me feel lovely and woozy. Everyone was keeping me talking (i.e. distracted!) and even the lovely nurse that had brought me down flashed temporarily so we could all admire her belly button piercing (I had previously confessed to and removed mine).
I had expected that I would slowly get sleepy, and fall unconscious, fighting it all the way. This was the bit I was most scared of. How can anyone be put under against their will??! But the last thing I remember was someone asking how old the kids were, and answering whilst thinking ”You just asked me that 10 seconds ago”. Bam! That was it! About 10 seconds later (it felt) I heard someone calling my name and felt like I was being moved on a bed down the corridor (which it turned out I was). Two hours in theatre, about an hour in recovery (longer than normal apparently but I was bleeding out a bit too much) and I was back to my room.
God bless the lovely male nurse (Ed, maybe?) who offered me morphine! The pain wasn’t really too bad, but even with mild pain if someone offers you morphine DON’T turn it down! It makes you feel so warm and fuzzy!
I remember eating a prawn sandwich, and having a cup of tea, and then falling asleep. All through the night I must have woken up 20 times to have a sip of water as I was breathing through my mouth and it got really dry. They checked my BP regularly, and had to change my dressings as I was still bleeding like a horror movie.
I am now home! Wish I could have stayed in hospital longer! Will be sleeping upright on the sofa tonight! First day post-op I have two lovely shiners beneath both eyes, and the swelling actually seems to be getting worse not better – all normal, I have been told to expect this. I have a plaster cast on my nose, and it definitely feels like it has been gone at with a hammer and chisel. Painful, but under the cast it is well protected and Ibuprofen is doing the job.
The worst bit is the oozing coming from both nostrils. It is VERY uncomfortable, and the internal stitches sting and burn with every fresh ooze. I also have what looks like 3 stitches across my columnella – the bit between my nostrils – and they are kind of itchy and sore. My nose is just constantly dripping blood and fluid. I feel like I have the worst cold ever – completely blocked up and the swelling inside my nose causes a build-up of pressure every now and then to the point that, just where I feel like my face is going to explode, there is a funny gurgling sound and it all dies down again. Kind of cool, really!
I am told the bruising and swelling will get worse before it gets better. I am having the plaster and stitches removed on Friday. Dreading someone coming at my poor busted-up face with a pair of scissors, but got to be done. I will post another post-op pic then, when the colours should be at their prettiest! Meanwhile, it is really fun walking around with all the dressings on and having everyone wonder what on earth has happened to you(!) Kai thinks its cool, Jay looks worried and keeps hugging me, and Mia says she doesn’t want me anywhere near her school until I look human again!
1 Day Post-op!